


On The Proper Use of Doors, and Other Things

by kameo_chan



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Humor, Post-it Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-07
Updated: 2011-12-07
Packaged: 2017-10-27 01:20:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kameo_chan/pseuds/kameo_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inter-office communication, Kumogakure style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Proper Use of Doors, and Other Things

**Boss,**

Marked the door with an X this time. Try aiming straight ahead and then pull up a bit just before you reach it. Reach a hand out, put it on the handle and then turn. Not too much and not too fast, just a quick shove down. It opens out, not in.

Hope this helps,

Darui.

\--

 **Re: The proper use of doors.**

Darui,

Raikage-sama asked me to inform you that your request has been denied approval. He also expressed the sentiment that you are to keep your nose out of his business or suffer having it broken. Again. And that no, C will not be allowed to heal you this time. Furthermore, he kindly requests that you stop wasting both the village's messenger hawks and its office supplies on trivial matters.

Regards,

Mabui  
Personal Assistant to the Raikage.

\--

 **Mabui,**

You gave yourself away with "kindly" and "requests". Give it up and stop being a tight-wad.

Darui.

\--

 **Darui,**

Meet me at that bar - you know which one I'm talking about, right? The one with that shochu they import from the Sand? That one. Anyway, meet me there at seven tonight. I'm paying. Oh, and Mabui said to tell you that money doesn't grow on trees and that she's going to deduct the cost of all the paper and ink you waste from your salary this month.

Remember, seven sharp!

C.

\--

 **C,**

Yeah, I know the one. It's the one where you ~~first stuck your tongue down my throat~~ threw up on Motoi that one time.

PS. If you see the Boss, tell him I said to look for the big red X. He'll know what I'm talking about.

Darui.

\--

 **D.,**

I told him. He told me to tell you to fuck off.

Later,

C.

\--

 **C,**

So it was you. You could have at least picked up the dry cleaning tab. Next time shit like that happens, I'm telling Bee about what you did to his synthesizer. And stop using my summons as a messenger bird. Use the hawks instead.

Motoi.

\--

 **Motoi-san,**

My humblest apologies. I forgot that the owls are yours. In defense of my actions, I must however clarify that I acted on the express orders of Raikage sama himself, and that I cannot therefore be held accountable for the destruction of Bee-sama's synthesizer. It was a tragic loss. Also, Atsui was the one who drew on your face while you were ~~passed out~~ incapacitated.

Again, sincerest apologies,

C.

\--

 **C**

 **I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THE DAMN SYNTHESIZER! GET YOUR ASS UP HERE NOW OR SO HELP ME - HOLD UP. I'LL COME DOWN. STAY PUT AND MAKE SURE THE THIRD FLOOR LANDING'S CLEAR!**

\--

 **Re: The jumping out of and smashing through various windows and walls respectively.**

Raikage-sama,

Don't. Please don't. We're already hopelessly over-budget as it is, and the last of the construction workers left yesterday.

Faithfully yours,

Mabui.  
Personal Assistant to the Raikage.

\--

He jumped, didn't he? Sounded like the window this time. So much for the X.

Darui.

\--

 **To Whom It May Concern,**

I blame the two of you for this. And I hope that the next broken window C jumps through has particularly sharp shards of glass sticking out around the edges. And that he ruptures an artery. And bleeds to death.

\--

 **Hey,**

What's up with Mabui? She kept giving me dirty looks while muttering something about infrastructure. At any rate, managed to dodge Raikage-sama in time to avoid a serious chewing out. I get the feeling I might have to lie low for an hour or so. I'm still seeing you at seven though for that drink.

PS. And if all goes well after that, nine o'clock at my apartment. Twenty explosive tags and a barrier. Nothing a big, strong jounin like yourself can't take care of.

Looking forward to it,

C.

\--

 **Re: The misuse of office supplies.**

To all senior shinobi,

This is an urgent reminder that inter-office communications can be established without using up valuable resources. Any offenders caught engaging in the waste of office supplies will be fined and effectively banned from comm centre until such time as Raikage-sama deems fit.

Yours sincerely,

Mabui  
Personal Assistant to the Raikage.

\--

 **Boss,**

Tried marking the door with a poster of Bee-sama's favourite enka album. Try not to miss it this time. Also, I won't be able to spar with you tonight. I've got plans.

Over and out,

Darui.


End file.
